How Easily We Are Offended

It amazes me at how easily we can be offended with others!

My first thoughts when I see someone acting out because of an offense is to ask, "Just who do you think you are?"

Why would I ask that? For a couple different reasons I guess, because if we are Christians, REAL God followers, we should not be surprised at those things. We should expect that our enemy is looking for every way possible to distract us from what is really important about following God.

Jesus spoke about those things in the Beatitudes. You should probably read what he said about offenses and your reactions to them. It would be good for us to remember those word daily before we go off on each other for things said and done. Click Here to read the Beatitudes. This statement He makes about offenses indicates to me that we most often have the wrong response to an offense.

“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

The "rejoice and be glad" part is where we tend to miss it, don't we? We seem to forget that taking those offensive words or actions and retaliating back against the one who delivered them is not what we should be doing. Nor should we take that offense and sulk in it. The joy of the Lord is our strength. We should learn how to become joyful in the midst of trials and offenses. Are we there yet?

So what do we do with offenses? I can tell you the first impulse is to take hurt, cry, run away and hide. Then after that comes mulling it over and telling someone we like and trust about it. Then if we don't get godly counsel from that friend, we start vindicating ourselves by talking to more people and spreading around the offense taken and shared by those who love to hear gossip.

Instead, we have been taught and know what we should do is to go to that person who has offended us and tell them you were offended. Try to come to some level of understanding and reconciliation between you and them. Find forgiveness and restoration for your fellowship in Christ. This is what we have been taught.

Frank Viloa wrote about offenses lately in his blog and it struck me that those things he mentioned were so real for us. One statement he made inspired much more thought about offenses. It was this statement I thought was so true.

"When wise and discerning believers are concerned about someone, they go straight to the person they are concerned about privately as Jesus Himself taught us to do, asking questions rather than making allegations" Frank Viola

 The asking questions part is so vitally important! We don't always know what that other person was thinking or even meant when they offended us. They may not even know they offended us. Unless we go to each other and talk it out, they could easily be slandered by our unwillingness to talk about it with them.

There are many of you who may read this blog and think, "I'm just fine. No offenses here. Nothing left undone with anyone around me." That may actually be true, but if it isn't, I implore you to immediately go to the person you have an offense with and get it worked out. If you can't get through it with them, then go get some others to help you get through it. Unless that person or you are unable to see and hear God, our Lord will bring reconciliation and restore His joy in you. He will restore fellowship in that relationship.

The practical truth is, if there is no joy in your relationship with others, you might want to have a close look at that, with regards to your relationship with God first. As Christians, you cannot have a joyful and honest relationship with anyone unless God is the center of your life. If God is filling you with joy, joy will spill out of you. You will respond joyfully to everyone around you. Why wouldn't you?

And when someone says something hurtful to you or does something hurtful, you will not spiral down into that dark and depressing place of despair, anger and hatred. You will count it all joy for the sake of our Lord Jesus Christ. You will walk in the light and do those things which bring about peace and joy. You might even break out into a wholesome smile or laughter. Wouldn't that be a welcomed change?

One last thought. When you become insulted or offended by someone, it might be a wise idea to look carefully at what was said about you. There is a possibility that you are acting in a way that is offensive to others. You may not be aware of your behavior as offensive. That person may have been sent from God to save you from yourself and help you change your attitudes and behavior.

I'm not suggesting that you go into a deep depression over it, but I am suggesting that there may be something true about a statement made about you or against you. that is why you need to ask questions and have an open mind about offensive words and actions. You may think you are "All That, and a Bag of Chips", so to speak. Maybe God is trying to help you get a grip on reality. That offensive statement could be a life saving word, spoken at just the right time, for your good. Think about that.

Are you in unreality? Are you easily offended? Do you blow up in anger often at little things that irritate you? Are you easily irritated? Do you walk around with a chip on your shoulder, waiting for someone to knock it off? (That's an old adage about looking for trouble so you can fight.) Do you wear a frown or scowl? If any of these thoughts or feelings are true about you, please get some help!

The practical truth is that God did not create us to be miserable, angry or depressed individuals; lost, hopeless and consumed by our passions. He created us for His pleasure, to have fellowship with Him. He wants to fill us with His joy and demonstrate His love towards us.

When we are filled up with His love and joy, we can be one with Him and all those who are also filled up with Him. We can smile a real smile of joy and hope. We can be saved from all the unreality and offenses in the world.

Life is not all about us. It's about God and our cooperation with Him to live the life He gave us in a way that keeps us connected to Him. That is fellowship. That is joy! That is real life!